Kathleen and I were married in 2010 and took the advice of many around us to take a year to ourselves just to love each other and grow together. At that time, I remember we lived in a small little apartment in Guntersville, AL, and if you squinted really hard you could see a small bit of the lake through the powerlines. It wasn’t much, but we were so happy and everyday was a miracle. That is a year I will never regret, and it did wonders for our marriage, creating a bond that still holds us together over a decade later. But our goal was to start a family and we were ready to experience the miracle of conception, our life’s true meaning. We couldn’t wait to hear the sound of little feet racing all around our home.
But as many couples discover, the guarantee of conception was not a guarantee at all. We faced an uphill battle that led us to years of doctor visits, specialists, testing, treatments, and inevitably giving in on our attempts and accepting that our life may be just the two of us. We were given extremely low odds of conceiving without invitro and decided to turn away from the science and place this decision in God’s hands.
Less than a year later, JP was born. In fact, our math tells us he was conceived on April Fool’s Day, of all days. Three years after that, Charlie was born. God told us that this was His miracle to work and by giving it to Him, God produced what no fertility treatment could. Now we have two beautiful boys that are the light of our lives.
Just like Kathleen and myself, many couples have a misconception (no pun intended) that conception is a sure thing. That once we ‘decide’ to have children, we embark on the natural order of life and are instantly blessed with ten little fingers and toes. Nothing could be further from the truth. The reality is that our statistics on conception are based on how often it actually occurs. We do not base it on the anomaly of the process itself. Let me explain…
If you are a healthy woman, age 29-33 without any reproductive complications, you are about 20-25% likely to conceive in a given month, if the timing is right. This is based on the statistical trend of all women ages 29-33 who have started trying. Out of 100 only 20-25 will get pregnant that month. If you have a certain reproductive issue, doctors can look to women in your age group with the same issue and give you a percentage based on that population. Basically, the statistics are comparing you to other women. It is all based on the trends and historical data doctors collect on women who are conceiving, or not conceiving.
You Are Not a Statistic
The real truth of conception is a miracle, a statistical anomaly. Did you know that after sex, 200 to 300 million sperm are released with the single goal of fertilizing an egg with less than 48 hours to accomplish their mission? And the female body is designed to destroy most in an attempt to prevent fertilization from inferior ‘swimmers.’ By the time sperm reach the egg, there are fewer than 200 remaining. That means each sperm has a .000067% chance of even surviving to the point of reaching the cervix. If at all, only one sperm will accomplish this final mission. That is 1 out of 300,000,000! This is the REAL statistic for a perfectly healthy man and woman in the ideal childbearing years. The best-case scenario.
Even then, a woman’s body is perfectly and divinely designed to terminate a pregnancy if there are certain genetic abnormalities. For something we accomplish hundreds of thousands of times a day, it is a miracle we even exist.
This is not to mention the likelihood that you would be born the person you are! An article from the Huffington Post provides the absolute improbability of your genetic tree. It would be like choosing from all the stars in the sky and you just happen to choose the star that is you, on your first try. You are very special indeed.
So, What’s the Point?
The point is that conception is not a random statistical fact that can be assumed, it is a miracle with divine purpose. Kathleen and I did not have a baby on our timeline and science told us we wouldn’t. But we turned to God, and He showed us His glory. JP came at the perfect time, in the perfect place, with the perfect little smile. God’s plan is greater than our own and a baby is a soul added to God’s kingdom. God brings two people together and a miracle spark is ignited at conception.
Conception is not a mistake but a statistical anomaly, a miracle. No matter the circumstances, God determined that this life was worth living. Taking matters into our own hands after God has performed a miracle is telling God that He made a mistake. It is telling the Creator of all things that we know better than Him. God has worked miracles in beautiful situations, and He has worked miracles in horrible situations. The commonality is that His miracles were always perfect, sometimes it just takes time to see it.
Our world aims to change the truth by adjusting the definition, but the truth is determined by God not by man. We can call it abortion, or humane termination; it does not change the truth of murder. A person can convince themselves of anything, but God will never change. Life is a miracle, a gift from our Heavenly Father with the promise of eternal joy, if we surrender to His will. These are not difficult decisions when you put up a wall and stand on the side of God’s will. That wall will separate you from the world. And remember, when you choose God, He promises to stand with you and see you through any storm. Faith, trust, belief, submission; everything else is semantics.
Being against abortion isn’t a pro-life movement, it’s a pro-God movement. Everyday is a miracle.